Tag: men

This lady

On By VievesVineIn Commentary, Everyday Life1 Comment

Three young women stood in front of me.  They were choosing nail polish.  No problem.  I wasn’t in a hurry. 

I’d been up since 5:30 AM and had driven two hours to the northern panhandle of West Virginia to get that Wheeling feeling. In other words, I drove to Wheeling for work.

The only feeling I got?  Tired.  So, on the way home, I stopped at a nail salon to treat myself to a pedicure.

And everything was fine—until the cute blond to my left said, “We’ve got to move out of this lady’s way.”

I glanced right.  I glanced left.  I glanced over my shoulder.  That’s when it dawned on me: I was “this lady.”

We females are called girls, gals, girlfriends, women, and ladies.  Not that there is anything wrong with being a lady.  I’m sure my mother was relieved the day she realized she could rely on me to be a lady when necessary.  Still, the tomboy in me will always remain.

Maybe it’s me, but isn’t there a difference between “a lady” and “this” or “that” lady?  The former speaks of manners and etiquette and elegance.  The latter suggests—or in my case—screams:  Advanced age.

In the early 1970s, Tom Jones sang, “She’s a Lady” to the top of the charts with the emphasis on “a Lady.”  “…She’s got style. She’s got grace. She’s a winner.”   Those lyrics are what most women consider a compliment:  

Somehow, I don’t believe the thoughts of the “girls” who were choosing nail polish aligned with the song.  I’m sure—in moving out of “this lady’s” way—they didn’t mean to be negative or insulting. They were just trying to be accommodating.

Lady?  Me?  When did I transition from girl to woman and now, to “that lady”?  I don’t remember turning that corner. I wonder how the girls would have referred to me had I been younger or near their same age? Would they have said, “We need to move out of this chick’s way” or “Hey, girl, let’s make some room for you?”

As for me, I saw no difference in our ages until I was deemed “this lady”

The male population does not have this problem.  It’s true.  Men are boys until they reach their mid-twenties or so. From that point on, they are referred to—at least in hearing range—as men, possibly dudes, or bros, but one thing is certain, they will always be boys.

I pondered the “girl to woman to lady” evolution as I chose my nail color. Bubble Bath? No, too subtle. Berry Blue? Too sweet.  Serene Green? Too calm.

No, this was a red situation. There it was: Kiss My Aries—that would show them.

My feet soaked in warm water beneath a chair that, though it massaged my back, did nothing for my self-esteem.  All the while I watched the door, looking for a “this” or a “that” lady, to gauge how others must perceive me.  But my mind registered only women and girls and one man, who as we established, was probably a boy. 

I relaxed my head against the chair and said to myself, “Self, set it free” when a woman I knew walked in.  I said, “Hi. How are you?”

“I’m tired,” she said.

“Me, too,” I said.

 She lifted her eyebrows in surprise.

“Are you kidding?” she asked. “You look refreshed—like you’re starting the day, not ending it.” 

In that instant, “this lady” became the girl she’d been all along.

Boys and girls

On By VievesVineIn Commentary1 Comment

A few weeks ago, I sat cozy and warm in the driver’s seat and watched my husband Gary secure our Christmas tree to the roof in pouring rain.

I said to myself, “Self, be ye thankful for this man.”

Maybe some women don’t mind stretching over a car roof while the rain pelts down. I am not one of them.

Oh, I could do it if I had to, but Gary is around, he knows the job is all his, and he never—as in ever—complains.

In the same way, I’m the one who cleans our house and takes care of the laundry. My husband is capable of and has performed both chores, but that area is usually my territory.

I’m not ashamed to say these things, nor am I demeaning my female sisterhood. I believe women are as intelligent as men. Among a host of professions, more than a few women are excellent doctors, attorneys, and business executives

Note: I said, “as intelligent as,” not “more intelligent than.” There is a difference.

It’s a “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus” kind of thing. The best-selling book by John Gray focuses on the differences between men and women and how it is important that each respect the other.

It was published in 1992, but those differences have not changed—not one bit. Still, mainstream media and various groups would like for us to think otherwise. They wish to alter the various, inherent traits that distinguish males and females.

True, a time existed when women were passed over in favor of men at school and in the workplace. The rewards from the battle to give women equality in those areas have been well worth the fight.

But now the push has taken a step in the wrong direction. The media and political factions appear determined to unman our men.

A great many television shows, movies, and commercials depict intelligent savvy women dominating dimwitted men. If we believe what we see, the percentage of intelligent savvy women far surpasses that of bright brainy men.

The number of action films featuring women heroines who are physically far superior to men is laughable. Evidence exists that women possibly fought as gladiators. However, the accounts show they did not participate on the same brutal level as men. Women fighters were novelty acts.

Intellectually, neither sex rises above the other. But men are physically stronger than women.

The latter fact explains the problem with trans women competing against biological women. Despite being a trans woman, Olympic gold medalist Bruce—now Caitlyn—Jenner strongly opposes biological boys and men taking part in women’s sports.

Jenner knows drugs cannot eliminate testosterone to the degree that would keep trans women from having a huge physical advantage. Interestingly, no debate exists the other way around. Trans men don’t even try to compete against biological men.

Hmmm…

But I digress.

Mainstream media portrays men’s physical strength as a detriment and paints them as emotionally and intellectually incompetent. More and more, people are accepting this charade as fact. It’s chipping away at the confidence of our boys and eroding mutual respect between the sexes.

God gave males and females different gifts that go hand-in-hand to keep life in balance. One quick example in many: without a man, a woman cannot conceive.

Gary appreciates the way I plan and organize family and friend events. He is happy for me to do the shopping for his clothes and shoes. He knows I like to drive and doesn’t mind relaxing at shotgun.

I am thankful that my husband cuts the grass, climbs up on the roof for maintenance checks, and wields a leaf blower like he’s fighting enemies in a warzone.

And I have to admit, he’s handy to have around to tackle stubborn jar lids.

A friend of mine put it best: “Empowering women should not come at the expense of men.”

Men and women are different and equally valuable.