Category: Commentary

Nickels

On By VievesVineIn Commentary, Everyday Life, Friends & FamilyLeave a comment

My father often used the old expression, “I wish I had a nickel…” Probably for every time my brothers and I said, “How many more minutes till we get there.”  Or, maybe, for each time he successfully made April Fools out of us or beat us in basketball.

The saying may have evolved from the 1920s phrase: “A person would shoot you for a nickel.” That had something to do with an individual who did not value the life of another—meant as a joke, I hope.

“Squeezing a nickel” is an expression reserved for a Scrooge-like person who goes to extreme lengths to save money. “You can’t get blood from a turnip” is also an old way of saying someone is tight with money.

But we were discussing nickels, though I don’t know why. When was the last time you saw a nickel, held it in your hand, or used one to buy something? Anything?

It has been a while since I’ve taken a good look at the Thomas Jefferson coin. It would take a truckload of nickels to make any headway when shopping.

With inflation over the years, the expression got an upgrade. It became, “I wish I had a dollar for ….” But a dollar doesn’t add up to much either. One dollar doesn’t translate to more than a few miles in gas or even cover a bag of M&Ms.

Gone are, “I wish I had a nickel…” and “I wish I had a dollar…” from my everyday conversations. I’ve raised the ante to five dollars.

I wish I had five dollars for:

Every time I’ve misplaced my car keys.

Every time Gary says, “It’s the littlest of nothings.”

Every time I said, “Don’t be a WSB (Wimpy, Sissy, Baby),” to my children and kids I coached.

Every piece of junk email I delete. Better yet, I wish the senders had to pay me $5 to drop anything in my inbox.

I wish I had five dollars for:

Every circular in my mailbox.

Every time I said, “I’m counting to three.”

Every time my mother said, “I’m counting to three.”

Every time one of my brothers said, “I wish I had taken your advice.”

Every time WVU football and basketball teams have broken my heart.

Every time I told my children, “I am not your friend; I am your mom. And one day, you’ll be happy about that.”

By the way, they do seem to be happy about that.

I wish I had five dollars for:

Every time I said, “Use your inside voice.”

Every time someone says “bring” when the correct word is “take.”

Every time I fight the urge to go gray.

Every time I give my adult children unsolicited advice. Ugh.

Sometimes I just can’t help myself.

I could fill pages and pages with these five-dollar wishes, but filling them is like going to the mailbox hoping for the surprise BIG check that never comes.

From 1900 to the 1930s, a nickel bought a loaf of bread, a ride on a trolley, or a movie ticket. Back then, if you had a nickel, you could buy an ice cream cone, a hotdog, or a bottle of pop. A nickel covered a ride on the subway or the bus.

No wonder everyone wished they had a nickel. But not me. I wish I had five dollars—for every time I’ve wished I had five dollars.

Standing up

On By VievesVineIn Commentary5 Comments

The issues of freedom of speech and protecting women’s sports have put the national spotlight on WV, Harrison County in particular. It’s impossible to explore one without alluding to the other.

Judge Thomas Bedell recently issued a preliminary injunction against the Harrison County Board of Education, “preventing it and its schools from punishing athletes for future free speech.”

I’ll fill you in.

Five middle school girls’ track athletes protested against competing with a biological male in the shotput event. The protest went viral after former University of Kentucky swimmer Riley Gaines praised their courage. Individuals and groups who support the “Save Women’s Sports” (SWS) campaign also lauded the athletes.

Parents filed a lawsuit to protect free speech after their daughters’ coach enforced an “unwritten” rule: athletes who intentionally “scratch” an event would not be allowed to compete in that event at the next meet.

The words “unwritten rule” triggered the problem. In what professional arena is a rule not documented—on paper—a serious rule, a rule not to be broken? Most believe an unwritten rule bends easily—imposed in some cases, but not others.

Another key issue revolves around the true definition of “scratch” in track and field. The NCAA written rule is consistent with what I’ve witnessed in past middle and high school track competitions:

“A Scratch, for any reason, is a voluntary abandonment of an event by the participant prior to the staging of the event. … the staging of the event is the point in time where participants are escorted to, or allowed to be at, the site of the event.”

Therefore, the five athletes did not scratch. They did not elect to take themselves out of the shotput competition “prior to the event.”

They were present. Their names were called. They entered the circle—shotput in hand—and silently walked away without attempting a throw.

The girls did not scratch. They exercised their constitutional right to free speech by protesting an issue that affects them and the futures of female athletes near and far.

Based on the clarification of “scratch,” there was no basis for employing a disciplinary rule, much less an undocumented regulation. The word “unwritten” negates any avenues for justification of the “rule.”

On the other hand, if one reviews the current Presidential administration’s proposed changes to Title IX, the young women’s brave protest is justified.

Edits to the 1972 law to protect equal opportunities for women in sports include replacing the word “sex” with “gender identity.” If that happens, the new Title IX would be based on how a person identifies rather than his biological truth at birth.

This problem does not exist for biological women who wish to identify as men. They do not attempt to enter the male sports arena because they know they cannot physically compete with men. Thus, the reason why males who wish to identify as women must draw the line at competing in women’s sports.

Biological women fought for years for the passage and implementation of Title IX. With one flourish of a pen, a preposterous new definition of women will effectively erase the intent of that law.

As Judge Bedell stated, the case at hand is about freedom of speech. If the court’s decision does not support our valuable constitutional right to be heard, there is reason for serious concern.

As for the issue of protecting women’s sports, the courts have not been kind, e.g., the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals (VA) blocking WV’s “Save Women’s Sports Act.”

A double standard exists in this climate that claims to champion women. If courts continue to turn their backs on reality, on saving women’s sports, freedom of speech becomes even more essential.

It is up to all biologically female athletes to be as courageous as five middle schoolers and stand up for truth by standing down.

Boys and girls

On By VievesVineIn Commentary1 Comment

A few weeks ago, I sat cozy and warm in the driver’s seat and watched my husband Gary secure our Christmas tree to the roof in pouring rain.

I said to myself, “Self, be ye thankful for this man.”

Maybe some women don’t mind stretching over a car roof while the rain pelts down. I am not one of them.

Oh, I could do it if I had to, but Gary is around, he knows the job is all his, and he never—as in ever—complains.

In the same way, I’m the one who cleans our house and takes care of the laundry. My husband is capable of and has performed both chores, but that area is usually my territory.

I’m not ashamed to say these things, nor am I demeaning my female sisterhood. I believe women are as intelligent as men. Among a host of professions, more than a few women are excellent doctors, attorneys, and business executives

Note: I said, “as intelligent as,” not “more intelligent than.” There is a difference.

It’s a “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus” kind of thing. The best-selling book by John Gray focuses on the differences between men and women and how it is important that each respect the other.

It was published in 1992, but those differences have not changed—not one bit. Still, mainstream media and various groups would like for us to think otherwise. They wish to alter the various, inherent traits that distinguish males and females.

True, a time existed when women were passed over in favor of men at school and in the workplace. The rewards from the battle to give women equality in those areas have been well worth the fight.

But now the push has taken a step in the wrong direction. The media and political factions appear determined to unman our men.

A great many television shows, movies, and commercials depict intelligent savvy women dominating dimwitted men. If we believe what we see, the percentage of intelligent savvy women far surpasses that of bright brainy men.

The number of action films featuring women heroines who are physically far superior to men is laughable. Evidence exists that women possibly fought as gladiators. However, the accounts show they did not participate on the same brutal level as men. Women fighters were novelty acts.

Intellectually, neither sex rises above the other. But men are physically stronger than women.

The latter fact explains the problem with trans women competing against biological women. Despite being a trans woman, Olympic gold medalist Bruce—now Caitlyn—Jenner strongly opposes biological boys and men taking part in women’s sports.

Jenner knows drugs cannot eliminate testosterone to the degree that would keep trans women from having a huge physical advantage. Interestingly, no debate exists the other way around. Trans men don’t even try to compete against biological men.

Hmmm…

But I digress.

Mainstream media portrays men’s physical strength as a detriment and paints them as emotionally and intellectually incompetent. More and more, people are accepting this charade as fact. It’s chipping away at the confidence of our boys and eroding mutual respect between the sexes.

God gave males and females different gifts that go hand-in-hand to keep life in balance. One quick example in many: without a man, a woman cannot conceive.

Gary appreciates the way I plan and organize family and friend events. He is happy for me to do the shopping for his clothes and shoes. He knows I like to drive and doesn’t mind relaxing at shotgun.

I am thankful that my husband cuts the grass, climbs up on the roof for maintenance checks, and wields a leaf blower like he’s fighting enemies in a warzone.

And I have to admit, he’s handy to have around to tackle stubborn jar lids.

A friend of mine put it best: “Empowering women should not come at the expense of men.”

Men and women are different and equally valuable.