Boys and girls

On By VievesVineIn Commentary1 Comment

A few weeks ago, I sat cozy and warm in the driver’s seat and watched my husband Gary secure our Christmas tree to the roof in pouring rain.

I said to myself, “Self, be ye thankful for this man.”

Maybe some women don’t mind stretching over a car roof while the rain pelts down. I am not one of them.

Oh, I could do it if I had to, but Gary is around, he knows the job is all his, and he never—as in ever—complains.

In the same way, I’m the one who cleans our house and takes care of the laundry. My husband is capable of and has performed both chores, but that area is usually my territory.

I’m not ashamed to say these things, nor am I demeaning my female sisterhood. I believe women are as intelligent as men. Among a host of professions, more than a few women are excellent doctors, attorneys, and business executives

Note: I said, “as intelligent as,” not “more intelligent than.” There is a difference.

It’s a “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus” kind of thing. The best-selling book by John Gray focuses on the differences between men and women and how it is important that each respect the other.

It was published in 1992, but those differences have not changed—not one bit. Still, mainstream media and various groups would like for us to think otherwise. They wish to alter the various, inherent traits that distinguish males and females.

True, a time existed when women were passed over in favor of men at school and in the workplace. The rewards from the battle to give women equality in those areas have been well worth the fight.

But now the push has taken a step in the wrong direction. The media and political factions appear determined to unman our men.

A great many television shows, movies, and commercials depict intelligent savvy women dominating dimwitted men. If we believe what we see, the percentage of intelligent savvy women far surpasses that of bright brainy men.

The number of action films featuring women heroines who are physically far superior to men is laughable. Evidence exists that women possibly fought as gladiators. However, the accounts show they did not participate on the same brutal level as men. Women fighters were novelty acts.

Intellectually, neither sex rises above the other. But men are physically stronger than women.

The latter fact explains the problem with trans women competing against biological women. Despite being a trans woman, Olympic gold medalist Bruce—now Caitlyn—Jenner strongly opposes biological boys and men taking part in women’s sports.

Jenner knows drugs cannot eliminate testosterone to the degree that would keep trans women from having a huge physical advantage. Interestingly, no debate exists the other way around. Trans men don’t even try to compete against biological men.

Hmmm…

But I digress.

Mainstream media portrays men’s physical strength as a detriment and paints them as emotionally and intellectually incompetent. More and more, people are accepting this charade as fact. It’s chipping away at the confidence of our boys and eroding mutual respect between the sexes.

God gave males and females different gifts that go hand-in-hand to keep life in balance. One quick example in many: without a man, a woman cannot conceive.

Gary appreciates the way I plan and organize family and friend events. He is happy for me to do the shopping for his clothes and shoes. He knows I like to drive and doesn’t mind relaxing at shotgun.

I am thankful that my husband cuts the grass, climbs up on the roof for maintenance checks, and wields a leaf blower like he’s fighting enemies in a warzone.

And I have to admit, he’s handy to have around to tackle stubborn jar lids.

A friend of mine put it best: “Empowering women should not come at the expense of men.”

Men and women are different and equally valuable.

Words from my father

On By VievesVineIn Friends & Family3 Comments

On Memorial Day, I visited my father’s grave at the National Cemetery. I hadn’t been there in a long while, and I wasn’t certain I could find it on my own.

Cemeteries aren’t my first choice to visit when I want to pay tribute or find solace. I feel my dad every time I step onto a tennis court. He’s everywhere I look when I find my way to Camp Mountaineer in Morgantown. He’s ever-present when I visit the Baptist Temple or wander up to Morris Park, both on the east side of Fairmont.

But no matter where I am, I hear him.

The tone of his voice when he said, “Genny Ann” or, on occasion, “Genevieve Ann” and his advice and stories and songs remain with me.

Dad often sang to my brothers and me. The songs he gave us, he also sang to his grandchildren. Now, we sing them to our baby grands. Like “McNamara’s Band”:

“Oh, my name is McNamara I’m the leader of the band

although we’re few in numbers we’re the finest in the land…

and Hennessy Yennessy toodles the flute and music is somethin’ grand

a credit to old Ireland is McNamara’s Band….”

And “Tora lora lora”:

“Over in Killarney

Many years ago…

“Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Toora-loor-ra-li,

“Too-ra-loor-ra-loo-ral, it’s an Irish Lullaby….”

And, of course, “Hail West Virginia”:

“It’s West Virginia, it’s West Virginia

The Pride of every Mountaineer….”

Dad would chuckle and lower his voice to a murmur when he recited:

“One dark night in the pale moonlight,

two dead soldiers got up to fight.

Back-to-back, they faced each other,

drew their swords, and shot each other.”

He reserved one song just for me, a tune from the early 1900s that I doubt anyone else recognizes.

“Oh, Genevieve, sweet Genevieve

the days may come, the days may go

but still the hands of memory weave

The days of long ago….”

The many Carolines whose fathers sing “Sweet Caroline” understand what “Sweet Genevieve” means to me.

Whenever my brothers and I went out with friends, Dad said, “Don’t take any wooden nickels.” It took a while, but I finally realized that was his way of issuing a witty warning: “Pay attention. Don’t let people fool you.”

We lost every battle for a later curfew. Dad always said, “Nothing good happens after midnight.” When we slept past 8 AM, he cautioned, “You’re sleeping your life away.” He was right–on both counts

A few times I came through the door in a rage—angry and complaining about having been treated unfairly by a friend or a teacher or a supervisor.

“What we really need to do is pray for her (or him),” said Dad.

“Pray for her? Pray for her? You pray for her,” I recall telling him once.

I didn’t get it then, but I do now. I still hear Dad repeating those words. His calm voice is a lifetime reminder of how to turn negative thoughts into positive activity.

When I arrived at the National Cemetery, a plan took shape in my mind. I drove up the American flag-lined hill as the reds, whites, and blues waved to me in welcome. I made the loop at the top and headed down to park and start my search.

I said to myself, “Self, just start out along this row, and check names three rows back.”

Halfway down the perfectly manicured green lawn, my father’s name in block lettering brought me to a halt. Below his name, his Navy credentials, and the necessary dates, I read the familiar inscription:

“When it’s too tough for everyone else, it’s just right for me.”

Dad said those words often as he helped my brothers and me learn how to persevere through challenging times in our lives. I heard him then; I hear him now.